Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
