Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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