you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
