I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
