just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
