I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
