Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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