I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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