THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
