No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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