Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
