Is it because I queefed?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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