I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
