Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
