How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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