he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
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its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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