Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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