she woke up with a sticky ear
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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