After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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