i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
