I need help removing her.
I cockslap morals
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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