I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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