I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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