So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think i have herpe
just one?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
