Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
