Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
