High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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