is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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