I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
