He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
