dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
