I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
