Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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