I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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