when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
