Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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