Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
