they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
