The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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