Kiss
Puke
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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