you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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