miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
