someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
