So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
