I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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