they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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