Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?