i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4