Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!