I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes