Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
