I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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