she takes plan B like it's going out of style
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
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I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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