Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
