Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
