found the other keg... it's in the tree
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
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did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
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my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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