I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i drank out of a bidet.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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