Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
