genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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