we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
