i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
