respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
