Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
